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Wether you just turned 18, or you broke up with your bad girlfriend,
there will be a time in a young man's life when he will experience
their first tittie bar. Just like a girl wants her first kiss
to be perfect, a guy's first experience at a tittie bar needs
to be perfect, so he can continue to go over and over, instead
of hating the sight of scantily clad women dancing for his enjoyment.
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TITTIE BARS 101: LISTENING TO YOUR INNER TITTIE
I remember my first time at the tittie bar. It was a magical time, I had just turned 18, still in high school, and there was a new tittie bar that had opened a few miles away from my parents house. I have put together a guide based on my experiences and experiences of others to make sure good times are had by all.
If you have a girlfriend, you may think you need permission to go to a tittie bar. Going to a tittie bar is not cheating, against the law, or forbidden in the bible. Better yet, take her with you, she might enjoy it! Most girlfriends are open to the idea and you will get a show once the strippers see your girl and start shoving their titties in her face! You have nothing to lose except your girlfriend, and if she is going to let tittie bars get between your relationship, then she isn't the one.
PREP YOUR SELF
Before you go to a strip club, you have to put your game face. The strippers there smell a rookie a mile away. Be cool, be sauve, don't make it seem obvious that you would chop off your left nut in order to get close to one of the fine titties or piece of ass walking around the club. If you must, masturbate prior to going to the club to prevent you from letting your other emotions cloud your judgement.
LEAVE YOUR WALLET AT HOME
Take only what you need to the tittie bar. $20 - $40 maximum and your driver's license(without your driver's license you can't get in!) It is usually around $10 bucks to get in, so that will leave you with ten singles to tip once you are in, which is still a lot, just don't spend it all on one girl. Plan accordingly, if you want a lap dance, take no more than the recommended $40, if not, just take $20. This will prevent you from falling in love with one of the girls and using your ATM card to get money from their ATM machine, which usually has a minimum of $60 or so anyways. With a limited amount of funds, you will not come home a dumb broke chump.
You guys might scoff at the idea, and even think you will have the will power to resist the temptations. These girls know exactly how to make you feel good, and they will do things like touch you, rub up against you and ask you if you would like a lap dance. They will make you feel so comfortable to make it harder for you to say no, and easier for you to throw your money at them.
THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR IN A TITTIE BAR
Girls don't always ask if you want a lap dance. Another tactic that they use to get money from you is act real friendly and sit next to you real close, and then a waitress will come by and ask if you would like to buy the lady a drink. Don't do it, even if it means that at that point she will leave you and go to another guy. You may feel like an asshole for refusing to buy her a drink, and it is hard to say no when she is all over you unlike the other girls you know in your daily life, but guys, these girls are no ladies. They are whores and they work there! Let them buy their own damn drinks!
The girls in a tittie bar are unlike you or me. They would not give you the time of day if they saw you walking in the mall, so feel free to reject them and enjoy the view!
BEER AND TITTIE BARS
Don't do it. Beer will cloud your judgement, and you will regret it i.e. getting a lap dance from a not so hot chick, spending too much money, can't get it up so she can grind you when getting a lap dance, etc.
Don't drink and drive, don't do drugs, and don't go to tittie bars under the influence!
HAVING A GOOD TIME
Going to a tittie bar is a gauranteed good time, just make sure you spend your money wisely. If you are going to sit at the exhibition table, you will have to tip at least a dollar, but if you don't feel like tipping right away, or the girl does not seem appealing to you, sit somewhere else! These girls take their profession very seriously and it is not proper behavior to sit at the table and not tip! On the other hand, you can enjoy the view without tipping just as well, just find a place to sit near the exhibition table.
At the exhibition table, you will see things you have never seen before! You will see naked girls bend over backwards, clitori of all sizes, shaved vaginas, pierced nipples, and girls who can hang upside down ten feet in the air!! These are things that merit a tip, so tip away! Also, take notice of the mirrors placed all around so you can get views you never though possible of the female anatomy!
TITTIES IN MY FACE, YES!!!
If you plan to get a lap dance, they are usually around $20. Make sure you go to the private dance room with only $20, because after the dance is over, she will ask if you want to continue, and at that point you are really hot and bothered that you might spend a lot more than you wanted. Trust me, if you are to follow any piece of advice in this guide, this is it. I once had a client of mine tell me he spent $800 on one girl! Whether he could afford it or not is not the issue. No pussy in the world is worth $800, especially if he didn't even get to screw her...which
SHE'S NOT GOING HOME WITH YOU GUYS!!
She is there to make you feel good, and as long as you recognize her profession, you should have no problem. Do you honestly think you will find relationship material in a tittie bar? Going to a tittie bar is not a date, so you shouldn't mistake her "kindness" for wanting to get to know you.
The best way to enjoy a tittie bar is to show up, find a seat where you get a comfortable view of the exhibition table and relax with your buddies. Think of it as chilling at the mall, but with hot ass naked chicks running around. If you get the urge to get a lap dance, tell your buddies where you will be going and once you are done, find your way back to your buddies. If you want to tip the stripper performing on the exhibition table, be loud and show her you appreciate her talents, but when you run out of money, sit somewhere else.
TITTIE BAR CHECKLIST
¬ DRIVER'S LICENSE
¬ $20 - $40
¬ Buddies (never go alone!)
¬ Positive attitude!
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