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LISTEN UP MARINE! THIS PERIOD OF INSTRUCTION MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE!!

The life of a marine is an exciting one. Where else does one wake up early in the morning and accomplish more before the sun rises than most people do in one day!

The problem with young marines is that they don't realize that the Marine lifestyle, at least their first four years, are designed for young single marines. A rookie marine, just because he is a bad ass and went through boot camp, thinks he can handle every situation thrown at him, but what he doesn't realize is that those situations and decisions he makes can get compromised if he decides to get committed to a girl who does not understand the Marine Corps.

Throughout my experiences (yes, Dr. fritz was a marine!) I have managed to counsel many young marines into making the right choices, and created a guide to steer young marines into the right direction.
semper fi! semper fi!

always wear a rubber motherfucker!
TYRONE IS AN EX-MARINE

(document to be updated as needed)
YOUNG MARINES and the bitches who want to marry them...

Today's military, but more specifically, today's Marine Corps has little to offer to fill the void a marine has at the end of the work day. Marines, early on in their careers, have limited choices of housing and living conditions, and this adds to an already stressful environment.

Some of them are lucky enough to find some girls around town to have fun with, while others are subjected to the long distant relationship. But many marines confuse the sometimes lonely aspect of the Marine Corps with not having someone to love and take care of, and decide that getting married is the best thing for them to do.

There are a lot of benefits to getting married or even having kids in the military, as marines can get extra pay by acquiring a wife. They also will have the privilege of living in a nicer housing situation than the barracks and also gain maternity leave, which may sound more exciting than having a girlfriend without those benefits.

This might all sound attractive, but I will break it down to paint the bigger picture...

Marriage is not a cure for loneliness

The feeling of being lonely is often what guides marines to make misguided choices over the girl they choose to be with, or even worse, to marry. Girls are supposed to provide companionship, but sometimes young marine see a relationship as an escape from the marine lifestyle, instead of an extension of it. Girls are keen to sensing insecurities in guys, and once they got you, you will be miserable. You will no longer be able to hang out with your buddies, even from time to time, because she will make you feel guilty, and you will feel guilty because you think there is nobody else out there for you. The solution is easy. Hang out with your buddies, go out, chances are you will get to meet more poontang and see what options are available to you. Then you can practice your social skills with the ladies and be the young confident marine you need to be. Remember, competency in the marines mean jack shit to civilian girls. How many Sergeants do you know who are jerks because their home life consists of three kids and a nagginf wife?

Just because you get more pay,
it does not mean you'll be able to spend it!

Yes, it is true, you will get more pay if married, but you will not be getting twice as much. In fact, you will get less than half of what you are already making. No problem, right? She can find a job, right? WRONG MARINE! What incentive does she have now that she has a place to sleep at all day long while you are slaving away at work? Not only that, chances are she is not from around the base you will be living in, and there are not enough jobs to go around, or if there is, she can't find a place to work according to her specific job skills (which pretty much means there is no way she is going to take a minimum wage job, even though she is not qualified to get hired for a better paying job!)

You will now be spending more money taking her out (and you will, as she finds base living boring), she'll have to keep up with the latest fashions and she will probably be buying you junk food to eat, instead of you coming home to a well prepared meal. You don't believe me? Go to the local commissary and look at the guys and girls shopping there. The guys are stuck carrying the babies, or walking behind their wives looking like zombies, while the girl has a cart full of hungry man dinners and other microwavable delights.

So let's see where all that extra pay will go towards to:


»lousy groceries

»clothes+shoes every payday

»extra car or buy a new car for her so she can "get around"

»other misc. stuff she will think of to do with your
   money while you are at work


If a young marine plays it smart and saves all the money he can his first four years of active duty, he will come out rich! Housing and food is taken care of, and if you manage the money you spend and don't buy any unnecessary crap i.e. big screen t.v., car/stereo system, don't go out to clubs all the time, etc...after four years, you will have a considerable amount of savings which you can use or invest if you decide to join the civilian world. The last thing you want is to end your time in the marines broke and in debt, with a wife and three kids. How many options do you think you will have at that point?


Don't buy a cellphone!!

Girls just don't understand the Marine Corps lifestyle. They think it is fun and games and that when you go out to the field for training exercises, that it is like going camping and shit, complete with bitches.
Now that you have a cellphone, she will be calling you all the time, and when you are busy on Marine business taking care of things and are not able to pick up the phone, there will be hell to pay. Look around your place of duty, and throughout the day notice the marines stuck to their cellphones or getting messages. It is bad enough that you have to worry with the problems that come about from day to day operations, but now your wife back home wants to make sure you are at your place of work and tell you about her stupid problems. What problems a girl has when she stays at home by herself when she doesn't have to contribute anything to the household is beyond my comprehension.

Also, when your unit decides to do some training exercises which will be done for long periods of time in the middle of nowhere, hope your cell phone doesn't get any reception. You should take the time in the field to get to know your fellow marines and train hard. Once she has you on the phone, she will bring you unnecessary stress, for she will try to make you feel as miserable as she is at home, and will do it by causing a fight. Being in the field is stressful enough, hang up on the bitch!


Still not convinced? Look around you, motherfucker!

I am just laying a foundation for a young marine to acquire guidance and knowledge, but here is the homework for the day. Go to work, look at the marines that are married, and see which ones look miserable, or who are always complaining about their wives or always drinking.

Go to the commissary and see for yourself.

You ever wonder why your superiors are mostly dicks? The Marine Corps is the only place in the world where people get meaner and meaner as they advance in their careers. It is because they get married young, and they re-enlist reluctantly. They have acquired debt and cannot support a wife and three kids on an entry level job when they finally get a civilian job, so they go back to the marines. They will never truly be happy, because in the end they compromised themselves.

Of course there are exceptions and some families do work out, but a Marine does not have room in his life for the Marine Corps and a wife. They both have a conflict of interest and will always loose the battle when he is to choose between either one.

To sum it all up, this discussion isn't anti-marriage. It is in fact to empower you so you can make healthy life choices, so when the time comes and you have decided to do 20 years in the Marines or only do your first four years, you would have saved some money, acquired some skills, so you can have more options available to you. You can sign up for another four after your intitial contract and invest your savings and make more money and eventually attract a girl to your liking. You may decide to use the G.I. Bill and go to school, and guess what, school would be awesome if 1. Uncle Sam is paying for it 2. You have money saved up to get a nice car and decent apartment and 3. there are a lot of girls in school which = more options = more poontang! Just remember to be safe.

These are just some ideal scenarios, but you get the point. The less compromises you have made in life for yourself as a young marine, the less compromises you will do later in life!

good luck marines! semper fi!

you can do it!
Dr. Fritz: Unlicensed Medical Guy
March 2004


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