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Ah, babies, so delicate, yet annoying at the same time. It's no wonder most people try to fool themselves into thinking that the miracle of life is the best thing in the world to experience. Well let me tell you one thing, before you experience the miracle of life, you have to experience the realities of life!

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Pregnant Girls, by Dr. Fritz

Pregnant girls are girls that are always pregnant or get pregnant real easy. They usually start in high school, and some school districts actually have a "pregnant school", where all the girls that get pregnant get sent. They are kept there until they have the baby, where instead of getting an education on how to properly raise a child, end up ditching their classes and smoke their cigarettes underneath the football bleachers.

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There are lots of changes young men experience when their pregnant girl starts showing symptoms of pregnancy. Some of the earliest changes includes tiredness.

Soon after you find out your girl is pregnant, you will find yourself going to work more often, and in some cases getting a second job. If you are fairly young, this may mean having to use your "rims" money to keep your pregnant girl from acting like a bitch. As long as you are constantly throwing money at them, they will be happy.

You may end up losing some sleep in the process because she will be more demanding of you like sending you at odd times of the night to get her snacks. Once you find yourself in this position, make sure you buy her lots of healthy foods and diet soft drinks.

Midway through the pregnancy, you may find some changes in both of you as well. She will begin to dress a lot nicer, in an attempt for you to still find her attractive, while at the same time, you will notice you no longer wear the nice clothes you used to wear since you can no longer afford the nice clothes yourself.

Did you spend a lot of your free time hanging out with your buddies or just chilling alone? Prepare to kiss it goodbye as your pregnant girl will demand that you spend all of your free time with her, and by free time I mean time that you don't spend at work. If you thought going to the mall with your lady was painful enough, wait until you go to the mall with a pregnant girl!

Your night out with the guys will be completely over, because if she won't let you go alone, she might want you to take her along, so she can intimidate your friends and to reinforce your coupling.

About halfway through the pregnancy, be prepared to experience great pressure from her, her family and possibly even your family to get married. You might be tempted to get married to "correct" your situation and make an honest person out of her. It is a difficult decision to make, but sometimes getting married is the best option if you are not making a lot of money at the moment. Getting married will be cheaper than child support. If you don't want to get married, make a plan now of how much child support she will get. This way you win because you won't be a messed up father while at the same time you can see other girls, but hopefully your happy ass will have learned his lesson and either get a vasectomy or always use a condom.

The big day comes and you are driving through traffic trying to get your wife to the hospital, and the baby comes out and all these happy feelings overwhelm you where all of a sudden, all the bull shit you had to go through is forgotten once you hold the child in your arms. Well, that moment lasts for about half a day. You then realize that babies are expensive and now you have to work twice as hard as before. If you were smart, you would have stocked up on pampers and babyfood the minute you found out she was pregnant! But don't worry, there is an all in one solution to fix the problem, so you don't raise no criminals and provide them with everything that they need so they won't make the same mistakes in life.

And that is what happens when you go out with a pregnant girl.

just wear a rubber already!

Dr. Fritz: Unlicensed Medical Guy

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